Is Love at First Sight a Real Thing?

The topic of love at first sight being a misunderstanding has been preached long before I picked up a pen and paper. However, I believe love at first sight does exist and that it is far beyond what we call romance.

Contrary to what popular songs, films, and literature demonstrate you cannot romantically fall in love with another just by first sight. What you’re really feeling is attraction by that person’s physical appearance. There is nothing wrong with being physically drawn to someone. Just like an onion there is the pretty surface, but there are further layers to peel back. Romantic love requires just that- getting to know somebody with time. Upon first meeting somebody you are not going to learn their deepest, darkest secrets. Knowing everything the first day might scare somebody off.


This is simply opinion, but the only couple who I believed could have loved one another at first sight were the first man and woman Adam and Eve. Why, because according to the Bible the two were quite literally a part of one another. 

“And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:’This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'”- Genesis 2: 21-23

Going on about flesh, how about the love for your children when they are first born? Originally,  I had something sweet and simple writen down for this, but I didn’t think I was qualified because respectively I don’t have a child to my name.

Hillary Brown, an elementary school teacher, said “Honestly, there is such a taboo of postpartum depression, but it’s a real thing, and affects more mothers than what it is ever talked about in the media. I think society expects all women to have a maternal, lovie dovie, rainbows and sunshine feeling towards their newborns, but they don’t. Often times like myself when I had my son(Titus) I felt the pain; fear; anxiety; and resentment all before I felt any euphoric type of love.”

Brown said that she loved her son when she had him, meaning she would have given up anything to keep him safe and alive, but she did not feel the infatuated emotion of love until later. She said the love she has for Titus now is not stronger, but different. 

“Now I do have that overwhelming infatuation, obsessive, madly in love feeling with him because I have spent time with him to find all of the little gems of his personality.”

Brown explained that when it comes to romantic love it is the same concept because we are infatuated based on their personality and physical characteristics. She said the bottom line was that she doesn’t think you compare the loves between a child and a spouse.

“The love for the child will always be more because it is your flesh and blood, you created it, you nourished it in the womb and grew it inside you. That’s where the love at first sight comes in when a child is born. A mother sees her child and is instantly in love because it was once inside of her living and growing, and now all the dreaming and imagining of what the child looks like is now in front of her eyes”


I believe love is also a sense of respect. At a young age you are taught to treat others the way you want to be treated. You respect someone enough not to steal from them, speak ill of them, harm them, cheat them, despise them, kill them, etc.

“Real success is not on the stage, but off the stage as a human being, and how you get along with your fellow man.” -Sammy Davis Jr,

For those of you who believe in a higher power, what about the love God has for you? You may not have seen God physically, but He sees you not only physically, but mentally and spiritually. From the moment you were in your mother’s womb to now, He has loved you. He must truly be in love with you to send His son to die for you and millions more. God must have truly loved the first man and woman to not only make them in His image, but to also to give them residence in a garden of paradise called Eden.

Is love at first sight a real thing? Whether it’s love for your own flesh and blood, or a sense of respect for others, or God’s overwhelming love for you, it does exist.

Sources: 

http://mobile.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/sammydavis389434.html?src=t_fellow_man

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1481078906426-9bf95a7ec345?ixlib=rb-0.3.5&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&dl=4amhcf8gtzg-hernan-sanchez.jpg&s=4ed932482282177e2fe09cb482694a33

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1415822138156-fd0cd874335a?ixlib=rb-0.3.5&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&dl=bi4szxgccam-giu-vicente.jpg&s=7879da16a584e57c1fc3a8b49eed2a7c

Tips to Being a Good Co-Worker

I consider myself a loner. I like not having to worry about others having my back or contributing enough. However, every now and then I appreciate the times I am on a team.

For the past few months, I have been working in the Food and Nutrition Department at Tennova Healthcare. While this job isn’t quite my dream job,  I thoroughly enjoy it because I love to work; I love being able to pay for my own stuff;  and I have one more thing to add to my resume. Moreso than my previous jobs, this job has taught me how to be a good co-worker. I’m happy to share how you can be a good co-worker as well.

1. Have a good attitude. I know we are instructed to leave our bad attitudes at the door when we first enter our job site, but not many people have the ability to let it go.(You’re singing the song from Frozen. I know you are.) I’m not saying that you can’t be angry, just keep it to yourself, or at least don’t take it out on your co-workers. If I’m ever in an unpleasant mood I will vent to myself, pray about it, and proceed with my work. I know I’d be hurt if somebody took their frustration out on me, so why would I dish it out to someone else who isn’t responsible for my present mood? Also, when you show your negative energy it spreads to everyone else like a plague. Nobody wants your sickness.

2. Lend a hand. Everybody needs help every now and then, so help a brother/sister out. If you see somebody struggling on a task such as lifting something heavy, assist them. Speaking from experience, those heavy boxes can be a strain on your back. The other night at my job, I had a heavy workload. I had dozens of food trays, pots and pants, and a party that needed to be cleaned up after. Had I done that all myself I might have been there until 1 am. Luckily, two co-workers who worked the night shift were there to clean up the function for me and assist my by putting up the plates; trays; and utensils. Last night, another co-worker stayed two hours past his shift to help me wash dishes because the dish machine was being worked on. He knew it would have been too much for one worker alone. Before your shift ends, try not to leave your co-worker with a heavy workload, unless your boss says otherwise.

3. Pull your weight. It is good to know that your co-workers have your back, but don’t rely too heavily on them. Some days they won’t be there, they might be late, or they might be terminated. Unless your superiors say otherwise, take turns doing a task. Don’t do the same thing over and over, otherwise you won’t gain experience doing those other tasks you are required to do.

4. “Hello, how are you?” (I swear I’m not quoting Adele.) You never know who might have something weighing on their heart. A simple greeting is acknowledging one’s presence, and asking how one is doing shows that you care. I also greet because it properly starts off any interaction between others. Even in text messaging, are you not bothered when nobody starts off a conversation with a greeting?  Going deeper, you don’t have to become best friends, but getting to know co-workers is also a good thing. Talking to them as you work can help those hours go by faster than you think.

5. Encourage & Motivate. Insted of jumping on a fellow co-worker when they don’t do a task correctly by mistake, simply tell them to do better. Don’t talk down on them like they’re a parasite. By doing this you will make them afraid to mess up again, causing them to think everything should be perfect. You can also tell them when they are doing a good job. Showing appreciation for one’s hard work and dedication gives that person the mentality to keep doing better .

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” -Henry Ford

Interacting with a Stutterer

For so long I wasn’t quite sure what to write about, but then I remembered the old saying, “Write about what you know.” As my first blog post, I shall touch on the topic of stuttering.

I’m 24 years old and I have a speech impediment. I have been stuttering since I was four. While it sucks to struggle on something as simple as my name, I think of the pros of growing up with a stutter. I think carefully about what I want to say before I speak, I respect those who are different, I’m humble, I apply myself three times as hard as anyone, and I have one more reason to lean on a comforter called Jesus Christ.

According to stutteringhelp.org, “more than 70 million people worldwide stutter”, so you’re bound to run into one sooner or later.  If you do come across a person who stutters, how do you interact with them? A stutter is like trying to turn a key in a lock, but the lock doesn’t want to cooperate. Watching someone struggle through a sentence may make you just as uncomfortable as that person. What can you do?

1. Do not interrupt. At times when I’m speaking, especially within groups, I feel like an ant trying to be heard in a room full of grasshoppers. We stutterers want to say something too. Just give us a chance. My mother, bless her heart, has an unintentional habit of cutting across my words thinking that I’m finished. I have to inform her that I’m not quite done.

2. Do not guess. Unless you can read minds or are good at reading lips I would not recommend guessing. Not only could you be wrong, but you’re being rude. Unless the other person gives you an indication to finish the sentence, try to refrain from doing so.

3. Let a stutterer do what makes them feel comfortable. My methods for getting through a stutter are easy onset, taking a breath, tapping, and talking in my natural vocal range(baritone). My least favorite and last resort is singing what I want to say. To  a good many, I am considered a decent singer. Personally, I’ve heard better voices than mine. Singing has and shall forever be one of my passions. As I use my God-given gift people are intrigued that I don’t stutter as I sing.  However, I do not want to sing everything I want to say. I love musicals, but life is not like Grease; Wicked;  Hairspray; or Phantom of the Opera. Unless you are going to sing with me to make me feel less silly, I suggest you stop asking me to make your life a musical. If I sang everything it would become a chore rather than a pleasure. Who wants to do chores all day?

4. Do not force. I have a friend who I recently took to a drive thru at a fast food place. If I ever go to a fast food place I usually order inside and type my order on my phone just in case I struggle.  I was already upset with this friend for backseat driving, asking me to go outside my comfort zone was nearly pushing it. Interesting friend. Those few minutes of trying to get out my words to the person on the other line were the worse. Five minutes after my friend finally did the speaking herself, she explained she was just trying to help. Unless you are a parent speaking to your child or are somebody’s boss, you have no right to tell somebody what they will or will not do. If a stutterer feels forced into a speaking situation disfluency will surely happen.

5. Be patient. Refrain from saying phrases like “Spit it out” or “Hurry up”. Not everyone can talk as fast as auctioneers or rappers. Some, but not all stutterers tend to take their time when they speak to reduce their stutter. The benefit of being around someone who talks at a steady pace is that you can catch everything they are saying.

6. Treat them right. Just because someone isn’t quite as good at something as you are does not give you the right to belittle them or make them feel inferior.  One of the worse things you can do to anyone is to take advantage of them, especially when that person is nothing but genuine to you. As a person who stutters, and a person in general, I hope to be treated well by those who I treat well.

Hopefully my words benefit you. As I say in my Instagram bio, “I have a stutter. Accept me or don’t.”